a guy at school today was wearing this damn fine red nail polish and I heard these two girls whispering angrily and looking in his direction so I listened in expecting them to be weird about it and the first thing I hear is “how the HELL did he get it so good did he get it professionally done or something you need to ask him where he found that colour jesus fucking christ are you KIDDING me”
I think this is a good example of how the world should work.
WOW I AM ESPECIALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE MR. FREEZE EYES
i can’t even put eyeliner on properly
Is there anything better than Free Slurpee Day?
Access to basic health care
when your mom visits you at college
This guy can spin anything on his finger.
I’m still laughing at the fucking mattress omg
It’s actually the cushion that goes missing from under his ass.
the fact the other guy is just holding a basketball right there like they just took it away from him and now he’s trying to find replacements cause he is an addict
do you ever feel like there’s just so many pretty girls but most dudes are just subpar like there are radiant goddesses everywhere and just piles and piles of guys in backwards baseball caps and sandals
it’s called makeup
you can put eyeliner on a frat boy that doesn’t change the fact that’s he’s wearing a neon muscle shirt and nike flip flops
you may look like a bride but you will never bring your family honor
one day when i try to get a boyfriend this will come back to bite me
FAVOURITE HIMYM SCENE: 1x09
I wasn’t ready for that.
I don’t think anyone was ready for that.
The most important line in the whole damn song. MESSAGE.
The only historically accurate line in the whole film.
once i was sick so i got a prescription for codeine cough syrup and when i went to pick it up the pharmacist was like “you really won’t need all of this” and i was like “it’s ok i could just sell it at school” and he was like “YEAAAAAAAH FUTURE PHARMACIST” and fist bumped me
ok apparently this pharmacist is my brother’s old pot dealer
his name is scooter
y’all r gettin way too accurate with these it’s scaring me
when u stand up 2 fast n suddenly ur floatin thru space n time